I’m Bacckkkkk!! – Life Update!

So I haven’t posted on the blog for a while. There’s been several reasons for this but they are mostly personal issues that I don’t want to divulge. I have due to these personal issues been having a serious lack of motivation when it comes to writing and everything I’ve tried to write I’ve just felt wasn’t good enough.

I’ve also been suffering with hyperemesis gravardium; extreme morning sickness. I’m 5 months pregnant now and the sickness seems to be easing off a little. Most nights after puking all day, running around two children and trying to keep the house going, all I’ve wanted to do is lie in a darkened room with a wet flannel on my head munching on ice. Extreme morning sickness can leave you severely dehydrated so for all my expectant mummies out there who have the same condition please make sure your midwife is aware and keep topped up with water as much as you can. I’ve found that drinking water itself made me sick so I munched on ice or ice pops as above. My GP put me on anti-sickness tablets which helped relieve my sickness a little so I was able to at least manage some dry foods such as cereal and strangely enough the baby had me craving fruit! Maybe the baby knew we needed the nutrition!!

Doing all the running around I have after my two children and with the severe sickness I’ve had has been really tiring and so I haven’t had the energy I’ve needed to be able to put into things. I’m going to try and make the most of what energy I have. I’ve really missed blogging however and I’ve taken inspiration from some of the amazing bloggers I follow on Bloglovin’, WordPress and Twitter. I’ll try and blog as much as I can so keep your eyes peeled.

QOTW: Week Sixteen

There are so many people in this world. 7.6 billion in fact. And the beautiful thing about this world is that everyone is different and no one is the same. Super cheesy I know but how boring would life be if everyone did the same thing and felt the same way about things?

I think its healthy to be able to have a disagreement in opinion and that you should respect one another’s opinion. However, what makes this unhealthy is when others begin to use those opinions to ostracize and harm others.

I constantly get judged. As a mother, as a mental health patient, as a millenial, as a bisexual currently in a same sex relationship, as a bigger girl, as a feminist.And it can be very hard in this world of social media to not feel attacked all the time. There are times, such as when I’m being told I brainwash my daughter by teaching her she can do whatever her brother can, when I get told that I’m a disgusting pervert for being a bisexual parent, when I get told that I’m just sad and need to lighten up and deal with ,y issues like a grown up, when I quite literally hide away from the world. It’s enough to make anyone want to not go outside again or bother to open up to others. It would be so easy to stay cocooned in my little world and not say anything to anyone.

But then I also think that I have a duty to teach my children and to show others around me how proud I am of who I am as a person. I may have Bipolar but I own that shit and I bring up two children single handedly and still manage to get the bills paid, I am in love with the most beautiful soul in the world. The fact that she is also a woman shouldn’t matter. The fact random strangers take it so personally amazes me to be honest. And I also think to myself that if someone reads one of my posts and that brings about  more understanding and gives someone more of an open mind and an understanding that the world is not so black and white. If I can also help someone who is going through something I have gone through and can help to give them some advice and help them do that then I will feel as though the whole point of me blogging has been achieved.

I do believe that it is so important to learn about the world and the people in it. Now more than ever. There have been so many scary things that have happened this year (read here about how I deal with this as a mum). And all it does is make me want to look more about how I can help to be honest. Starting off as an individual with how you can tackle these issues in your community will help build into a group of us doing it together. And that is what is important.

I Heart Autumn/Winter

Autumn/Winter is without a doubt my favourite time of the year. Being born in December, in the bustle of Christmas it was quite literally thrust upon me at birth that  I was to fall head over heels for the jolliest time of the year. Here’s my rundown of why I love all things Fall:

Food Glorious Food

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It’s called Winter body for a reason people! The best food comes out at this time of year; chestnuts, cocoa, mince pies, christmas cake, turkey, pigs in blankets (I literally become a pig in a blanket). toffee apples, black peas, honestly I could go on for days! And it’s totally not frowned upon at all to eat as much of it as you can. In fact it is pretty much celebrated. Then there’s the drinks! Eggnog, mulled wine, brandy, Baileys, Christmas punch, etc.

Hibernation period is upon us

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Getting up in the dark and going home in the dark can be depressing don’t get me wrong. But it also means that you can wrap up in the comfiest, cosiest clothes ever. Fall fashion for me is amazing. I’m definitely on the larger side of life and I’m not going to lie Summer dressing brings me out in the sweats that’s not down to the hot weather (who am I kidding I live in the North?!). I love putting on boots, big cosy knits and wrapping up. Layering is the bomb. Then at night you come home shove your cosiest PJ’s on and grab a blanket and get ready for the next thing on our list!

The TV/Movies are amazing!

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Strictly! X Factor! Home Alone! Elf! Santa Claus! Miracle on the 34th Street! All the best TV dramas come out at this time of year too because telly people know your at home so you are more likely to be sat watching something rather than down the pub socialising. You could lie on your couch in your fluffy pyjamas, with your snuggie, eating your snacks because remember its perfectly alright to eat your own body weight in Quality Street at this time of year, binge watching and honestly before you know it the sun is shining through your window because it’s Spring again.

Celebrateeee!

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If you do feel like socialising then there are so many things going on at this time of year you could do something different every weekend and not get bored.  Bonfire night, christmas markets, christmas shopping, harvest festivals, HALLOFRICKENWEEN, carol services, ice skating, As a mother, I am obliged to do alot of these things as activities with my children and I honestly don’t know who gets more excited sometimes.

What a wonderful world!

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The colours of the leaves on the trees, the pumpkin patches, the poppies, the smell of the air, especially after a rain storm, the crack of lightening across a sky, the sunset, the stars at night, the smell and the glisten of the frost in the morning, the gorgeousness of snow especially when its untouched and sparkling like little diamonds all crushed together, andwhen you touch it, you feel and hear the crunch. I love how my babies get little red noses and cheeks and then I shove them in a bubble bath, waiting on hot chocolates and fluffy pyjamas, all snuggled under a blankie watching a christmas film. It’s the most magical time of the year for a reason!

It’s Christmaassss!!!

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All the reasons stated above all tie in to why I love Christmas but also I’m a mumma so for me creating memories for my children that they will look back on with love and happiness is so amazing. I spend so long making sure everything is perfect, writing letters to Santa so they get a reply in the mail, all the decorations. the food, the presents. watching their movies with them. It is also the most stressful time of the year because I’m a mother. But seeing their little faces on Christmas morning is what being a Mumma is about.

Family Gathering

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It’s the one time of the year when all your family will be in one place so you get to see everyone you love. It also makes you need to spend the next 364 days of the year recovering from it byt my best Christma’s are those that have been filled with love and laughter from my family.

Home is where the heart is

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This time of year, when it’s cold and wet outside, when you are toing and froing mostly in the dark, when the most money is spent ever on things that you don’t neccasarily need but want, all the food you are going to eat, the fact that you have the freedom to sit in your house watching TV, etc, well this is what reminds me of how grateful I should be to have all that I do. I always try and encourage my children to understand how fortunate they are to have all they have, and to appreciate what they have got, and that they need to give to others. I love sorting out the kids toys and clothes they no longer fit into and play with and taking them to our local hospital or shelter so that others can enjoy them too. It is so essential to give to those less fortunate than ourselves all year round but at this time of year when you are surrounded by family and abundance it’s especially essential to think of those who aren’t.

Please tell me your reasons for loving this time of year, or even if you hate it! I love hearing other people’s stories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

QOTW: Week Fifteen

Can you believe that it is nearly Winter already? I’ve just finished writing my I Love Autumn post and I can’t beleive that the year is over already.  Also I can’t believe that I am on my 15th week of life lessons. These weekly quotes are actually really helping me to think about the way I look at things and are actually opening my mind to new situations and even new solutions.

In reference to this week’s quote I have written about Success before but I’d like to go into a bit more, especially from a personal level.

As a millenial, we are constantly living in what I think is a ‘Success Paradox’. We are bombarded by those our age who are considered successful and then we are also living in a crisis. Housing, financial, career, you name it we are always given messages that we won’t be able to buy a house, get decent credit, have any savings, and oh dear will we even be able to collect our pensions things are that bad according to most of the media sources out there.

Through reality TV such as TOWIE, Made in Chelsea, etc, and even through watching some of my favourite Blogger/Vlogger’s it paints this story that you can have these dream careers, go on amazing holidays, and basically have these lavish lifestyles. Its shoved in our faces on Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter that these lifestyles and levels of success are what we should aspire to. People are making up job title’s to suit them, with the hours and the flexible pay check and travel to go with it. Then you get the latter end of the success trail. Those of us who are stuck in dead end jobs, trying to get by, saving everything we have just to get a foot in the housing market and try and get at least someone saved in case of emergencies. I’m already panicing and thinking about my pension, and if I’m finding this so hard then how bad will it be for my children?

What people don’t see about these lavish lifestyles however is how much work that is. Most of these designer clothes, sports car and houses are rented. Poeple are putting their name to things just to get some money, and sitting in pubs and clubs putting in appearances at all hours to get their name out there and get recognised for these things. Also are all those things even worth it if you don’t love what you are doing to get their? If you have a genuine passion and love for what you are doing then those things that come along with it will be added extras compared to the sense of satisfaction and acheievemnt you feel after a job well done. Also having all those amazing things that come won’t neccasarily be the things that make you happy.

Everybody’s idea of success is subjective. After all what I consider a success (a light jog round the block) compared to others (gruelling 10k) is completely different.

A good friend of mine always says to me ‘stay humble, after all you can’t take it with you when you die, but you can die full of love and happiness with amazing memories’. Although certain things have happened for me this year that other’s would see as pitfalls; losing my job, back to being a stay at home mum, being a single mum, etc, I also see alot of successes in my eyes. I am now more knowledgable about both of my children’s condiitons and feel that me being at home to help them is giving them a real fighting chance, I’m a much better ASD advocate than I was this time last year. I am a stronger, more confident woman than I was this time last year. I’m also out of a terrible relationship that didn’t make any one in it feel good and we are all much happier out of it.

So you see success is something which we can all achieve in different ways; material successes being a small part of that. It’s so much better to water your own grass and admite than so to speak than lust after somebody else’s. I am so lucky and grateful to have what I have with my home, my partner I am with now and my children. I know there are people out there who would love to have what I have right now. This reminds me to appreciate what I have and realise how lucky I am as it could all be taken away in a second.

QOTW: Week Fourteen

It’s going to sound so cliche and so cheesy but life really is about the little moment.

Everyone has a place they go to when the world gets too much and they need to reconnect. It’s a cherished placed where not many people know it’s your place because it’s your way of getting some peace and tranquility. And when you share that with someone its a really big thing.

I went on a date this week and the person I went the date with took me to their place. And it was honestly the nicest thing anyone has ever done. It showed they trusted me enough to know I would appreciate it and that they cared for me enough to let me in, to be vulnerable and show me that side of them.

I mention this because there’s been lots of little things leading up to this moment. I was friends with this person for a long time and wasn’t sure if they felt the same way I did. There was lots of missed moments, blurred lines, and misunderstood communication. So to be sat up there in that spot side by side looking out at the town we lived in with the sun setting was really really heartwarming.

It also taught me to not stress about the big stuff. Instead focus on the little stuff and work on it. Those little steps become a long road once you’ve started travelling on it. I really appreciated the town I live in looking at it in all it’s beautiful glory from where I was. To take time out and notice the little things like how the air smelled, how the lights all shone and sparkled and how the butterflies in my belly would kick off again each time I felt that person look at me.

When life gets rough I’ll look back on that moment and remember all those things I felt. It will give meaning to whatever is going on in our lives.

One thing I’ve really learned this week is this: life happens. It literally happens all around you and it doesn’t stop for anyone. So embrace it. Embrace it before you realise that you’ve missed so many things.

QOTW: Week Thirteen

As someone who is scared of rejection it is completely and utterly ironic that self-rejection is one of the most common themes running through my life. However this year that’s started to stop and it’s safe to say I am now more comfortable in my skin than ever. That comes down to getting out of my long term toxic relationship, ending friendships that weren’t good for me and appreciating more those who are, and being honest with myself about the way I feel about my body, my sexuality and my goals for the future.

One thing that I’ve really realised this year is that self-belief is so important. It’s the one thing that will keep you going when it seems like everything around you is falling to pieces. ot believing in yourself is what makes you think that you’ve failed (we acknowledged failure in week twelve).

It’s so easy to lose faith when you feel like your going nowhere and not achieving things, this is why you have to set your own goals, don’t base them off what everyone around you is doing. If there’s one thing I’ve learned following the crowd doesn’t always makes you happy.

I always thought that by the age of 25 I’d be in my dream career, married, getting a mortgage, been and explored parts of the world I had never seen. As it stands I’m a single, stay at home mother of two, renting in a cruel world when it comes to saving for a home. The last holiday abroad I had was a week away in Portugal back in 2009. I thought I’d have that perfect body I’d always dreamed of in that it would be alot thinner and toned and I’d permanently walk around in small underwears or a bikini. As it stands I’ve still never worn a bikini, I am bigger than I was back then howeveer I am probably the most happy that I’ve ever been. I’ve started exercising proeprly and eating right and I’ve accepted I’m a curby girl and its about health and looking after yourself.

I love doing daily affirmations in a morning. I always write down three things in a morning ‘my eyelashes look so good today’ ‘you seem really happy today keep smiling’ ‘you are a good person who deserves to be love and be loved’. Those were my affirmations this morning and they’ve kept me going all day. Then at night I write down three gratitude quotes. It’s really helping me in terms of self love and confidence and slowly but surely the self doubt has started to wear off.

I’d love to hear your own stories of coming over self-doubt so please leave me a comment!

Monthly Favourites – September

I absolutely cannot believe that it is October already. It felt like September went by in the blink of an eye. We are properly into Autumn now and I love it. Autumn is my favourite Season by far and I’ll let you know why in an upcoming blog post so keep an eye out for that! I’ve been doing alot of binge watching at the minute as I’m back at Uni and it’s the only way I can get through my textbooks (I’m a huge believer in needing background noise to stay on task). I’ve also tried out some new beauty favourites which I’m absolutely loving and can’t wait to tell you all!

Beauty, Hair and Skincare

Valquer Ice Hair Mask, Total Repair – £14.99

If you’ve read my August Glossybox Review then you’ll know I absolutely love this product! This left my hair so shiny and soft, revived the dull, dry ends and definitely brought it back to life! And it smells so divine. Like Davidoff Cool Water! This is one of my new hero products for sure!

Avon True Colour Wide Awake Mascara – £8.50

This was brilliant at getting me through September. I had some hard, long nights and this helped me to look awake and ready for the day. Seperated by lashes making them look long and fluttery and gave them a great amount of volume without being clumpy or spider like.

Sanctuary Spa Luxury Bath Float – £12.00

This bath float is one of the best part’s of my pamper routine now! You can sink into this of an evening and let it take all your stresses away. The smell is gorgeously floral and oriental without being overwhelming and settles on your skin so you can still smell it the morning after making you feel amazing and relaxed.

The Body Shop Vitamin E Eye Cream– £13.00

This has been a staple product of mine for some time now but it’s only been recently that I’ve realised just how amazing this works for me. I’ve been under alot of pressure this month and this product has kept me on my game looks wise! Afetr a late night of tossing and turning this helped to soothe and nourish my dry and itchy eyes. It also helped work wonders with my dark eye circles.

Benefit Hoola Bronzer – £24.50

I got this as an end of Summer treat to myself after previously trying a sample size. I just love the way this makes my make up look. It’s the perfect tone for a subtle contour or you can build it up into a bronzer. It blends out so well and compliments my make up. It lasts great for getting through a busy day too.

Nars Radiant Creamy Concealer – £24.00

Again this was an end of Summer treat to myself after strolling round Selfridges&Co. I’ve never tried a Nars product and always wanted to try this concealer. I tried it out in store with one of the lovely ladies who worked there and I instantly fell for the way this product made me look. It’s quite thick so you don’t need a lot and its better worked in with your fingers so you get the most out of the product. This really doesn’t lie when it says ‘radiant’, it makes my under eyes look bright and awake and gives me such amazing coverage. Definitely lives up to the hype!

Books, TV and Music

Great Small Things – Jodi Picoult (Paperback £4.99 from Amazon)

I love Picoult and have done since I was a teenager. She always manages to take a controversial issue and really make you think about it from all angles, making you see that there is so much more to what you think about a situation. This is probably one of the most brilliant novels she has ever written never mind that I have read. It is perfect for the times that we are going through. I hate to give away any spoilers.  Ruth Jefferson is a black midwife who has worked at a hospital for over 20 years when she is accused of killing the baby of a white supremicist. What ensues is a battle for her innocence and also a look at racism under a startling magnifying glass. I even found myself questioning my own thoughts and feelings on this subject and thought about this book long after I put it down. Definitely a must read!

Orphan Black (Seasons 1-5 on Netflix)

Sarah Manning changes the course of her life when she takes on the identity of Beth Childs, a woman who looks exactly like her who jumps in front of a train. However, its not long before Sarah realises there is more to this than meets the eye and she is in fact one of many clones created by the Dyad Institute. I absolutely fell in love with this and the superb acting of Tatiana Maslany. You forget that these clones are all being played  by the same person and it’s amazing how brilliantly she manages to get through the seperate personalities of each of the clones she plays. The supporting actors are also fasntastic and the writing is done in a way that it’s fairly easy to follow without being overwhelmed by the science and technology. I binge watched this in a week it was that amazing!

Dua Lipa debut album – £9.99 on Amazon

I adore Dua Lipa, she’s so feisty and is a brilliant vocalist and song writer. New Rules is definitely the Girl Power anthem of 2017. After hearing this I downloaded her full debut album and wasn’t disappointed, along with singles Hotter than Hell, Be the One and Blow Your Mind, I also love IDGAF and am so in love with Homesick I cannot stop listening to it. The songs blend so brilliantly into one another and I love this album for travelling and also of an evening while I am studying or writing out my blog posts.

So those are my September favourites! Please let me know if there’s any of your favourites I should try and what you think of mine in the comments section!

 

*** Please note this post is not sponsered and my thoughts on the products/items mentioned above are completely my own and I have not recieved any funds for this post ***