I am being stalked by my 4 year old. I feel like I can’t complain either really when considering what some mums in my position go through. My boy has Autism Spectrum & Pathological Demand Avoidance. On a lot of the internet forums I go on,and it is a common thought I think that children with autism are like robots who show little to no emotion and are either non verbal or incredibly communicative. I do think, and from speaking to people about this that people think autistic children are like mini Sheldon Cooper`s i.e mini child geniuses with no filter and an innate need to be right all the time. However thats not the case and like all children autistic children are individuals, have their own likes and dislikes, progress at their own level etc.

My child however seems stuck in the `I am not going to leave my mummy alone` stage. For the past six months he has been stuck to my hip and as much as I love my child, and believe me I do, I am extremely exhausted. I am so exhausted I have even started to go to bed at the same time as him. This in itself is an effort. We put our pyjamas on, brush our teeth and then get into MY bed. And believe me I have tried to get him into his own bed. I have offered to get in the bed with him, sitting outside the room, etc. Then he has me stroking his head until he goes to sleep. On top of me. Snoring in my ear. And I cannot move.

He squeezes his little bum on the seat I am sat on or sits directly on my knee even when eating. Which btw I have to share. My meal now becomes our meal. He will gladly interrupt any conversation I am having to ask me why a rock is grey, or if WE can go wee. Because theres no way he or I can go to wee on the toilet alone. What a hideous notion that I should be able to go for one in peace. Even when playng he requires me to be nearby. Watching.

My life is being ruled by this beautiful mini tyrant that I created. However this is why I can’t complain. Because some mums out there long for there child to be `obsessed` with them. Some of my fellow autism mummies whos children are non verbal and\or struggling to make sense of their emotions to hound them all day long with I love you`s. And I`m sure in years to come when he’s a teenager and he’s too cool to tell his mum he loves her and he’ll be wiping his own back side (fingers crossed) then I will look back fondly at the times when he was sat on my feet while I pee’d, playing with his lego at my side while I ate, and when I couldn’t go to bed at night without his beautiful, milky smelling, dinosaur-sounding, snores in my face. So for now I will make the most of the fact that there’s a bloke on this planet, albeit 4 years old, who worships the ground I walk on.

Go me!


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