This is a dreaded question no matter what age or stage you are at. It’s took me a while to get to a place, especially after everything I have been through with my son, that I was pleased with the progress that I thought I had made and I was proud of where I was at. Yes my plan had been torn up and redrawn hundreds of times over but that’s life isn’t it?
Yet people still feel the need to ask this question.
When I was 16 I had my first ten years of adulthood mapped out in front of me; college, university, job, money, house, husband, kid, etc. Oh how I look back and laugh now at my young naive self. I went to college, then I got pregnant with my first child. Two years later I also had my son. Who after 4 years of frustration, assessments, meetings, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum and Pathological Demand Avoidance. As my fellow ASD parents and carers know a diagnosis is not the be and end all. In fact we’ve had more difficulties since then involving James being excluded from school, having to leave the childminder before he got excluded and thus me having to leave my first job in five years. Every day I do occupational therapy with James. I also map out his day each evening with a routine board and do this all whilst looking after his sister. And I’ve been doing a degree with The Open University. I don’t want a medal I’m telling this story so that you get an idea of my frustrations.
What my degree will lead on to I don’t know. My future is uncertain at this moment in time. The present however is just fine. But yet it is not just fine for others. Theres this stigma that I can’t possibly just a stay at home mum. I must do something alongside, that like home based company running or a part time job. Lots of my friends do these and I am so proud of them. The great thing about it is that we have a choice and as long as as you are making those choices then whats the big deal.
We live in a world of always knowing what the next big thing is and always be told to improve, do better, reach for the next stage and be a master of all things. Its like if you do the same thing and aren’t planning on anything seemingly better then people look at you like your plodding through life and don’t get where you end up. I can safely attest that I am not plodding thamk you very much. Indeed I like to think of it as focusing. Taking pride in the now.
Its good to have a little idea of the what next however don’t get me wrong. It can becime easy to get stuck in a rut but life has a funny way of things cropping up where you need them and givinglike you a gentle shud into the next phase. For example, now I am a stay at home, student mother I’m really enjoying looking into politics and how to improve things for children and families with additional needs. Things that will come in handy I’m sure for whatever is next for us.
I’ll gladly keep you all posted on what happens next in my journey. Comment below and let me know if your plan is going exactly how you wanted to, if its changed and how it makes you feel. I love hearing other people’s stories.