Waffling

Cats over cocks, Dogs over dicks

After leaving the destruction of a bad long term relationship well behind I thought it was time I got back into the dating game. After looking at my friends loved up Sunday Instagram posts and awkwardly playing gooseberry, I thought that I would instead use my Sundays to find someone. Not the love of my life just someone to hang with really, get to know, go on some dates, and indeed, if they tickled my fancy then they could tickle something else. (I’m an adult who can make her own choices over what to do with her body and her vagina, if your not a fan of that I suggest you leave this page coz honey my blogs ain’t going to be for you!).

Sooo, being a mother to two primary school aged children who doesn’t get out alot I decide to look into what all the cool kids are doing these days. Tinder. What I wasn’t realising of course is that Tinder is pretty much the wastebin of mankind who lurk preying on single women thinking a quirky ‘hi hows you?’ will get them into your knickers. Not happening mate. Although there was one guy who seemed promising, took me on a date. He seemed perfectly normal and was up for all the same things as me. Was a perfect gentleman and he showed me a few new tricks with a pool cue (no sexual innuendos please we really did play pool) and hey ho what do you know he still has feelings for his ex and dating me helped him realise that. Errmm, your welcome? In all due respect to said Tinder date he’s a really nice guy and if they do work it out then I wish them all the best because there aren’t, as is the point of this post, a lot of nice guys out there and if she manages to bag one of the last few then good on her.

Then it gets to POF. I’ve deleted it after a week. You either get the weird, sexual maniacs or the beg its. You can’t a blame a boy for trying but you also can’t blame a girl for saying no. Really you can’t. And everyone who has ever been on POF, or indeed Tinder, will salute me here. In fact one of my favourite accounts on Instagram is ‘tindernightmares’. Thats enough to put anyone off the online dating world.

Then a bloke I just to see out the blue gets back in touch with me and suckers me in with that ‘I was too afraid we wanted different things and I would lose you’ line. Hook and sinker I was determined to prove that no actually we could make it work and actually develop something. Then comes the usual routine thats reserved for those who have been benched.

With benching, you don’t even get to a stage where you’re regularly dating. Instead the bencher strings along the benchee with well-timed WhatsApps and witty texts, or small promises that never materialise into big gestures.

Gone. Deleted. See ya.

However, this week was the week when my daughter turned 7 and so for her birthday I bought her two 7 week old kittens. And I immediately fell in love with them. My time was taken up with making sure they were okay, and fed, and I have genuinely been absolutely mystified, in a delightful manner, by them. If I’m bored or lonely then I go and have a cuddle with this beautiful little fur baby and its quite literally helped get me out of the dicksand funk. People will say what about your kids don’t they do that and the thing is if the kids stress me out or are having a bad day then guess who I go and have a moan to? Yepp the kittens! I have watched Netflix series in bed with my kittens sleeping on my arm and haven’t had to swat away an unwanted penis. Or a wanted penis which will only sink me into the aforementioned penis’s sand. No one needs or wants that. And if I do get a bit ya know, up fer it, then my vibe sorts me out and goes back in the drawer. I ain’t waiting around for a text back and then I can let the kittens back in the bedroom for a cuddle without the aggro of ‘when will I see you again?’

You don’t get none of the drama of hearing about their ex, or how they can’t find a nice and normal and decent girl and how they really wish they could make time for you and they know how you gave up your only free afternoon to see them but they are just sooo busy too busy even to text you and cancel properly and respectfully.

I can imagine its the same if you have a dog in that you get to go for a walk with the dog and it gets you out and things. Moreover, from having the kittens its actually got me talking to new people because they want to ask me things about them and share their own stories of their own pets. You get to put all your love, time and attention into these gorogeous little fur babies and all they give you back is love and attention.

Now I’m not suggesting you run out tomorrow and get yourself a pet. After all, you have to weigh up your lifestyle and if you can actually afford the insurance, vet bills and maintenance that come with having a pet. They are not just for christmas or a birthday after all and do need full time care and looking after. If you do have the space and time for a dog or cat then please look at your nearest shelter and get a rescue dog or kitten. We got ours from a family friend however we were looking at a rescue dog before that but couldn’t find one suitable enough to be around our rabbit.

So now I have removed myself from all dating sites. And am set in the wishful thinking that when it happens it will happen. I will find someone to spend my life with when I am meant to find him. And until then, I have my kittens.

 

 

 

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