As I said in my review post of The Happiness Planner (catch it here), I wanted to see what the weekly quote at the top of each ‘week’ would teach me, if I was able to relate to it, etc. I actually found myself thinking about the quote throughout the week and so I have decided to incorporate it into the blog each week!
I took this week’s quote to heart. When I first read it I kind of shrugged it off. I am a worrier by nature and having depression doesn’t exactly help when it comes to coping with anxiety. I’m also one of life’s helpers; I always want to make things better for people, I tend to worry about people if they’ve confided in me. In fact, one of my weaknesses is that I can struggle to accept when something is done with and there’s nothing more I can do. I have a real problems when it comes to drawing lines in the sand and setting boundaries. I think those who don’t really know me can find this abit of a puzzle as I can appear quite hard faced with a guard up.
However, when I went back over this quote I’ve found myself thinking ‘is there anything I can actually do about this though? I’m really trying to reduce my stress and get rid of negativity in my life, to try and focus my energies into worthwhile things that I can actually use to be more positive.
A technique I’ve put into practice this week is to make a list of all the things I am worried about or feel are on my to-do list. Then I number them 1-3, 1 being the most important, has to be done, and 3 being the would not be the end of the world if that never actually happened. It has really made me think about some of the things that I worry over and if I can actually do anything about it. Like, I cannot actually stop a tram being late, or it raining, or the fact that my daughter, after being told 5 times, and me actually carrying the darn PE bag to school, still leaves it on her peg and tells her teacher she hasn’t got one because she can’t be bothered to get changed. There are just some things in this life that are beyond my control. Yes I could check the weather forecast, take an umbrella and a coat if it says rain, but I cannot stop it.
I cannot control other people’s behaviour and decisions either. Like if a friend comes to me with a problem I can give her advice but its then up to her if she wants to take that advice. It’s out of my control what other people choose to do in their lives.
I also spend quite a lot of time worrying about my choices and what impact they have on others, particularly those that love me. I have had to remind myself though that this is my life and I have to live it and I cannot always put my happiness on the back burner to make other people happy. The choices I make as a parent, for example, not everyone will agree with. However, I do believe that its up to me to parent my children and I understand them better than anyone, if they are safe and happy then that is the main thing.
I’ve also learnt this week that if I constantly worry about things I can’t help, also including people’s opinions of me, then I could be potentially missing out on making some really great memories with my kids or not taking advantage of the amazing opportunities for self-growth and development that get offered me but I then panic and back out. For example, when I was dancing with M at her birthday party one of the mums took a video of me and I panicked so much about looking fat and all of facebook laughing at it, But when I watched it I look so happy, and more importantly, so does my daughter. That’s all I see when I watch it; a happy mum dancing with her little girl at her birthday party.
My planner has actually enabled me to plan these things out and the review section especially helps me to keep track of my stress levels and the worrisome situations which I really can’t help.
Let me know in the comments your tips for how you get over anxiety/how you came to the realisation that some things are really not worth worrying about 🙂
See ya in next weeks lesson! 🙂
If your interested in a Happiness Planner for yourself: https://thehappinessplanner.co.uk/
** All thoughts are my own and I have not been paid/sponsored to write this post. It will be clearly stated when this occurs so as not to create any confusion**