I feel like this lesson is basically a build up of a few others that I’ve talked about (week nine, week eleven, etc).
It’s got to be accepted people: failure is a key part of life. There are going to be things that you do not get right, both straight away or in fact ever. And that’s fine. In fact, messing up is pretty much a daily occurence in the Chapman household.
Failing is a major part of learning. Learning what went wrong and being able to carry on going makes the success so much sweeter. It also builds a resilience and a self-belief in yourself that no one can shake. After all, if we stopped trying aftet the first fall when we started to walk then we’d have never have got off the ground would we?
When I had my children within two years of each I was desperate to go back to work. I had a massive chip on my shoulder that I wouldn’t be one of those teenage mothers dependent on benefits. When my little boy went to school I assumed, as school had assured me, that he would transition really well and so I went back to work. And I absolutely loved it at first. Until I was getting a phone call a day off the headmistress because, due to them failing to realise how complex his needs would be and how much support he actually needed, J was struggling far too much at school. He already only did 15 hours. Then he started playing up at the childminders. And before I knew it I was awake all night tossing and turning, worrying all night about my boy, dreading going to work in case school rang me, and then before you knew it J was excluded. And I know that the only way I could help my boy was giving up my job. It was really, really hard for me to accept this at first. I felt I had failed; as a parent, as a nursery nurse, as a working mum, and that I had failed myself and my own goals.
In actuality, I realised that the best mum I could be was at home with my boy helping him to get through his first year at mainstream school. I also found that this acceptance taught me alot about my limitations and how I needed to change my view on stay at home mum’s in order to accept my situation.
I faced up to the fact that my return to work had failed and when I owned it things actually got better and I was able to be a better mum to my children.
Let me know in the comments if there’s anything that you’ve failed at and it’s made you grow and become better.